The bond between a Master and His slave is strengthened through etiquette, protocols and rituals. The specific requirements are personal to each relationship and help to reinforce the power exchange. A Master will state his preferences at the start of a relationship but they can change and more can be added as needed or desired. Although some may appear subtle, etiquette and protocols play a big role in the M/s lifestyle.


Rules of etiquette are acts or gestures established to show courtesy toward Master and other persons in social situations. They are about being polite and well mannered. A slave’s etiquette is usually more formal than in everyday life, however because requirements change they aren’t usually incorporated into a Contract document.

Sample Contract Clause for Etiquette

The slave acknowledges that showing respect toward Master is of utmost importance. The slave must be courteous toward Master, His friends, family and associates at all times. The slave recognizes her/his behavior is a direct reflection on Master. In particular, the slave must:

  • Always open the door for Master
  • Never interrupt Master while He is speaking
  • Request permission to speak with Master when in private
  • Welcome Master with a kiss when He arrives home from work
  • Greet Master X and Master Y formally by kneeling before Him with his/her head on the ground
  • Greet other Dominants and Masters with a hug and a kiss on the cheek
  • During meal times, wait until Master takes His first bite before eating


In addition to etiquette or manners, Masters will set protocols for their slave. Like rules of etiquette, protocols are also ways of showing respect and reinforce the power exchange. They deal with the way in which the slave is required to behave for example the way they stand, dress or speak. There may be different protocols for interacting in private vs public settings, at play parties, munches and around ‘vanilla’ persons.

Sample Contract Clause for Protocols

The slave is to always remember and act in representation of his/her subservience to Master. The slave is grateful for Master taking him/her into His care. In return the slave agrees to willingly and wholeheartedly serve Master and aim to please Him to the best of his/her ability. To further this end, the slave agrees to abide by the following protocols and any other protocols, practices and/or rituals Master may set for slave in the future:

  • Whilst at home with Master, slave may only wear his/her formal collar and no other clothing unless authorized or requested by Master
  • In public, slave must stand, walk and sit next to Master at all times. At BDSM functions and events, if Master is seated, slave will kneel on the floor next to Master
  • The slave must not establish eye contact with Master unless expressly permitted by Him. When Master is speaking to slave, he/she must adopt the usual slave position and look straight ahead or down.

These are just some examples of how slaves are required to behave and which can be incorporated into your BDSM Master/slave Contract. The requirements are usually kept simple, however some Masters can be very particular in His needs. You should note that each relationship is different and what may work for one Master may not feel appropriate to another. Sometimes slaves deliberately break etiquette or protocols in order to get attention from their Master or to test whether He considers what the slave does is important to Him.