BDSM Dating Sites Reviews

/BDSM Dating Sites Reviews
BDSM Dating Sites Reviews 2017-01-12T02:50:14+00:00

One question I get asked a lot is where can I find someone? Whether you’re looking for casual play or for full time power exchange dynamic, below is the best advice I can give you.

Find a Munch Near You

I would look for munches in your local area to find a BDSM community near you. Munches are informal gatherings at public venues like restaurants etc where you can just meet like minded people and chat. You can find munches through a site called FetLife.com. Note, that whilst you may be able to find a partner on fetlife, it’s not a BDSM dating site. It’s more like a community of kinksters where you seek advice, find events and share your passion. Once you become acquainted with others via munches, you may get invited to events and private parties. This is your best opportunity to find others with similar interests around you.

Reviews of BDSM Dating Sites & Apps

Another option is to look online. There are several BDSM, Kink, Fetish dating sites to choose from, including:

*by “Free” we mean, “is it free to find and contact a date/member?” (the whole purpose of joining a dating site). There may be other charges for premium features.

Site/App Distinguishing Features  

Free*

Pros Cons
Vanilla Umbrella
  • Available for iOS or Android.
  • Need custom PIN (optional) to load app each time – great protection from snoopers.
  • Disguised on your phone as a weather app (however if you tap on the VU logo, you will see  the PIN input field and a picture with handcuffed wrists in the background).
  • Erotic/explicit/nude photos must be uploaded as “private photos”. This offers a more tasteful app, however some see this as a negative. In my opinion, if you want to see organs, go to a porn site.
Yes
  • Easy to navigate & nice design.
  • Only one account allowed per device (avoids fake profiles).
  • Verification process (via social media or photo upload). Verified members are clearly marked.
  • Exclusive offers for members.
  • Open chat forum.
  • The app is relatively new & needs more members.
FetLife.com
  • Huge BDSM, Fetish, Kink community.
  • Publicly displayed erotic/explicit/nude photos & paid videos.
  • Think of it like a kinky Facebook.
Yes
  • Lots of members.
  • Great for finding local events, sharing pictures, opinions, writings, asking questions and participating/starting discussions.
  • Not intended for dating/hookup.
  • No search feature to find others around you.
  • Many members are already coupled and not looking for partners.
  • No app via Google Play Store or iOs App Store.
Collarspace.com
  • Members can share written, audio & video journals.
  • Free naughty cinema for entertainment.
Yes
  • Lots of members.
  • Ability to search for members near you based on gender, orientation, sexuality, age, ethnicity, weight, height, what they are seeking and whether they are relocatable.
  • Old looking platform.
  • No list of kinks for member profiles.
  • No app available, but does have a mobile interface.
Alt.com

BDSM.com

  • To me, these appear to be the same website. They have the same application process and the same member profiles show up as suggestions for my profile details.
  • Members are given a “Purity Score” based on their answers to a voluntary test. The idea is to show others whether you are a “sexual prude or a full-blown hedonist”. Ability to hide your purity score.
  • Watch BDSM movies (additional paid option).
No
  • Member verification.
  • Members whose identity has been confirmed are marked as “trusted members”.
  • Cannot view profiles, photos or message any person without paying.
  • Cannot search for members based on whether they are seeking an s-type or D-type.
  • No app available.
 KNKI
  • Public photo feed.
  • No erotic, nude, explicit public photos.
  • Ability to unlock your private photos to each member by visiting their profile and clicking the unlock button.
  • Available for iOS or Android.
 Yes
  • Nice design.
  • Has a social media aspect to it with the ability to follow your friends’ activities and comment on/like photos.
  •  Need to adjust the filters each time you enter the app so you can filter members by sex, sexual orientation, age, lifestyle role and ethnicity.
  • The default setting is global. Filters does not have an option to sort people by location. This was a little confusing. You have to go into “views” and click on “local”. Then, to find where someone is, you need to click on their profile and you will see where they are from ONLY if they have added that as an optional public field. You can however sort by “closest”.
  • No member verification process.

 

How Do I Start?

Looking for a compatible partner in the BDSM world is much like the vanilla process. I’d suggest you be patient and don’t settle on your needs. When you find a potential match, just be friends with the person first. Don’t get into a power exchange with someone without knowing what they’re like outside the dynamic. Are they honest? Can you trust them? Only once you’ve satisfied yourself with these factors, then you could proceed further….but start off slow.

When it comes to starting your dynamic, you will want to discuss and negotiate your wants/needs/desires/boundaries etc. I’ve prepared a training series on this here: https://bdsmcontracts.org/starting-a-bdsm-relationship/

Most of all, take caution in giving your trust. Here’s an article I wrote about avoiding scammers in BDSM.

All the best,

Lily