Negotiate & Define Your Dominant/submissive (D/s) Dynamic

Writing a Contract is the best way to:

♦ Bring up and discuss your wants, needs and expectations;
♦ Set down your goals, rules, rights, responsibilities and limits;
♦ Know where you stand and what’s expected of you;
♦ Set phases for your training or relationship;
♦ Review your progress and make changes to reflect your growth;
♦ Make your commitment seem more official (please note a BDSM contract is NOT legally enforceable). It is a tool to help guide your relationship.

Dominant/submissive Contract Template

~ A Legal Style Document to Negotiate and Define Your Arrangement ~

Ideal for:

♦ Dom/sub or Domme/sub couples wishing to define the relationship;
♦ Married couples, partners and lovers looking to explore the lifestyle.
♦ All levels of BDSM (those just testing the waters, subs in training or a 24/7 lifestyle commitment).

Two options available: Downloadable or Book Format

Option 1: Downloadable Dominant/submissive Contract

  • PDF – fillable, savable fields (make & save changes any time). Password protected.
  • Microsoft Word – Requires Microsoft Office for PC. It is NOT compatible with Microsoft Office for Mac or tablets as macros have been disabled.
  • Bonus: 3 pages of example clauses (ideas for your personalized rules).
  • Price: $19 (or…only $4.95 if you buy the hard copy format).
$19 | Dominant/female submissive Contract Download
 
$19 | Dominant/male submissive Contract Download

Option 2: BDSM Contract Hard Copy

A beautiful, hard copy of the Contract, sent to you discreetly.

Need something nicer than a printout?
Buy the hard copy here.

Details
Size: 8.5″ x 11″ (28 x 21.6cm)
Cover: Gloss, Color
Binding: Perfect Bound
Cover: Softcover (Hardcover option available)
Price: $29.90
Includes standard, discreet shipping.
Add the digital version for only $4.95!

$29.90 | Buy Now/View Details

Please note that contracts for consensual slavery are not legally binding.

D/s Contract BDSM Forms, Tips & Resources

  • Use this contract to negotiate and define your D/s arrangement.
  • Suitable for: Male or Female Dominants (Doms/Dommes) and male/female subs.

Are you entering a D/s relationship? Maybe you’re already partnered and you’d like to re-evaluate where it’s heading. When you enter any type of BDSM arrangement, it’s important to discuss your goals, desires and needs with your partner. This should be done in the beginning and reviewed regularly. Many kinksters use a formal contract for negotiation and to help guide them forward.

Our Dominant/submissive BDSM Contract is suitable for all levels (those in training to a total power exchange). All the important formalities are covered and you can add your own personal touch. These forms specifically use the “Dominant” and “submissive” wording and specify the core rights and responsibilities which usually come with this kind of relationship. Stipulate your areas of control, safewords, soft and hard limits, punishments or anything else you’d like from each other.

Also available: Master/slave Contract, Mistress/slave Contract.

About D/s relationships

A Dominant/submissive relationship requires faithful submission from the sub and loving guidance from the Dom. This type of arrangement is more lenient than a Master/slave power exchange because the sub may stipulate limits to the Dom or Domme’s authority. However, this doesn’t mean that a D/s arrangement is any less meaningful.

The D/s relationship is a very popular arrangement which exists in the BDSM lifestyle. It signifies a deep commitment between the parties however the submission is not as intense as a total power exchange. This is because the sub retains the right to govern whichever aspects of his/her life they wish and the right to place limits on play and punishment. In effect, unlike a Master or Mistress, the Dominant is restricted as to what He/She can do with the sub.

Areas that are Off Limits

Since a submissive has the freedom to make choices in respect of areas which are “off limits” this should be reflected in any document that is signed. The wording doesn’t usually say “the Dominant will not have control over…” or “the girl has the right to control these areas….”. The clauses are typically drafted to sound as though the Dom/Domme is empowered rather than being stripped off His/Her powers. So the off-limit areas (don’t confuse this with hard/soft sexual limits) are not usually mentioned at all. Instead, the document stipulates clearly what parts the Dom/Domme does have control over. For example “He shall have the ability to control and make decisions with respect to the following aspects of the sub’s life”.

Limiting Control

Of course, drafting the clause in a general sense will give the Her more flexibility with decision making. For example saying the Domme has the power and responsibility to look after the slave’s health and fitness gives Her a wide scope of control. Under such a clause, She could make the sub train five times a week in intense classes, eat a strict vegetable only diet and punish him if he slip up even a little.

If you don’t wish to give the Dom all decision making power over a certain issue then you can still Him some control by creating a specific clause which you both agree on from the outset. For example the clause can stipulate that the submissive must participate in two aerobic sessions per week and weight training once per week. This way the sub is still under control but to a lesser and more bearable extent. If you are worried about handing over total control, then the degree of domination must be made clear in your contract.

Play time

A thorough agreement will have limits and safe words, which essentially give subs the power over play. Hard limits are those which the girl/boy will never agree to. This could be anything from anal play to fisting. If a Dom tries something which is listed as a hard limit, this can irreparably break the trust between the parties and may even result in ending the relationship. Soft limits are those activities which the sub is willing to consider engaging in as long as they are warned or enter into a discussion about them beforehand. They can always say no after the warning or discussion. A proper covenant will list and define exactly what each of the hard and soft limits means and what the Dom needs to do/refrain from doing. An alteration clause enables the parties to add/delete limits.

Covenants on safety

As for safe words, a sub will usually have the right to stop play for any reason just by calling a word that is agreed upon. Some covenants have a second safeword to signify that the sub wishes the Dom to reduce the intensity of their actions, but not stop things completely. Unlike subs, some slaves don’t believe in having limits and some even refuse to agree on a safe word. Their rationale is that they trust Master/Mistress completely and they believe there shouldn’t be any constraints imposed on His/Her ability to take charge. This isn’t the case in D/s contracts because play and methods of punishment are curtailed by the sub from the outset.

Being a sub

Just because subs retain some decision making power doesn’t mean they have less desire to serve than a slave. D/s relationships in no way show lack of commitment or devotion toward Him/Her. They are still a very legitimate BDSM arrangement, one which may even last longer than a slave situation if the slave struggles to give up total power. Either way, you should know your own abilities and boundaries in deciding whether you wish to retain some control or whether you are prepared to submit your whole self. Both ways can be very rewarding; you just need to discuss and negotiate your intentions from the start.

Kinky Clauses

CBT contract clause for Dominant and submissive play

Resources

Is Your sub Ready for a Dominant/submissive Relationship Contract?
Switching between Dominant and submissive roles
A submissive’s secret desire for a Contract
How to be a good sub without losing your personality
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