Two of the most significant events that take place in many BDSM relationships are collaring and contract signing. These events, while they can be done without a lot of reverence, are most often performed by those who are very serious about their relationship and want to take it to the next level. Here are some of the rituals that have been used in the past to make these events memorable.
Collaring
For many couples the act of collaring is sacred. It is very much like a marriage of sorts. The collar that is placed around the sub’s neck represents, in some circles, the ring that is used in marriage. Not all couples take it this far, but some do. For other couples, the act of collaring is a sign of agreed upon possession. The collared sub now belongs to his or her Master or Mistress. They have agreed to become the property of that Dom or Domme and by being collared are not considered “off limits” to other persons unless the Dominant allows it.
A collaring ceremony can take place in simple surroundings, attended by only the couple, or it can be a festive event attended by friends of the couple. Many collar ceremonies take place in BDSM clubs or munch group settings. For those who want to add something special to the event, they often perform the ceremony at night, under candle light, and the couple may be dressed in lifestyle attire to enhance the mood and the ritual itself.
For many ceremonies, the sub is required to kneel. The couple may, or may not, wish to exchange vows. These vows usually contain words that express their feelings toward one another as well as any special promises that they have made to each other.
Contract Signing
When those who are in a BDSM relationship decide to sign a contract, they are taking a big step in their relationship. A contract is a written agreement that details what each person will do and be in this arrangement.
There are online communities where couples who have signed a contract can have their contract filed. The sub may even be given a “number” that uniquely identifies him or her. While being registered online is not mandatory, many couples find it to be an enhancement to their relationship as it shows publically (somewhat) their commitment to one another. And commitment is the most important foundation for most contracts that are signed in this particular lifestyle. It is for this reason that those who are not serious about their relationship avoid signing a contract, with one exception.
There are times when couples want to use a contract to lay out (in writing) what each is willing to do in their relationship. The terms of these contracts can vary from one couple to the next, and can include very detailed information that covers any aspect of the relationship including how often they meet, what the sub will wear, types of bondage, etc.